So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
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