So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
