two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
