i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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