i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
