just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Drake has all the answers
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
