Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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