hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
