in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
