So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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