Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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