wakey wakey hands off snakey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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