I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
