its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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