i permit you to call me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I party with great urgency now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
