oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
