i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
