Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
