We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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