Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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