I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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