I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
