Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Farmville is her only friend.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
