He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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