I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
