I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Every concussion has its silver lining
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
