im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
