I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have aggressive nipples.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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