everyone is single if you try hard enough
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
