im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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