i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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