yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
