i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
