i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
