Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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