we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
