dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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