their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
