So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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