Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
