covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
