I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
