do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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