The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
