Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
