it wasn't lemon gatorade
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
