I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i dont even know how to be here
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
