so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
cat food counts as protein by the way
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I stole a fireplace last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
