This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
