from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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