To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
