So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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