I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
