he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
